The Year Is 2019 And We Still Live In A World Where People Don't Clean Up Their Dog's Shit
So there I was last night just minding my own business. The Flyers had taken a 1-0 lead against New Jersey into the 2nd intermission. Now everybody who watches hockey knows that you need to time up your intermission schedule perfectly. There’s only about 15-20 minutes or so before the next period starts so whatever you have to get done in those 15-20 minutes, you don’t have a ton of extra time to work with. I had it planned out perfectly. I could take my dog out for a little stroll, let her do her business, get back home and be sitting down just as the puck drops to start the 3rd period. In a perfect world I’m right there in front of my tv to see Kevin Hayes score his first goal as a Flyer less than 30 seconds into the 3rd period. In a perfect world I’m right there in front of my tv to watch Sean Couturier score about 30 seconds after that. But we don’t live in a perfect world now do we?
We don’t because in a perfect world, everybody would clean up their dog’s shit so that unexpecting, innocent people wouldn’t end up stepping in said dog shit. Apparently that’s not the case, however, even in the year 2019. Because as I was heading back home, I ended up stepping in shit and had to spend the next few minutes trying to clean off my shoes. By the time I got back home, only 150 seconds had gone by in the 3rd period but it was already 3-0 Flyers. A tragedy.
Now let me say this right now. If you are someone out there who does this, you are the absolute scum of the earth. There are a lot of bad people out there in the world. A lot of sick, twisted, evil human beings with evil intentions. And you’re right up there with all of them. I mean it’s so simple–your dog takes a shit, you bag it up, you throw it away, nobody has to miss Kevin Hayes score his first goal as a Flyer. But some people out there are just selfish pricks. And even if you just accidentally forgot to grab bags on your way out, you still need to find a way. Either you immediately go back to the scene of the crime for a post-pick up, or you just figure something out. But the thought of just leaving it there should never be an option. I’m not gonna go crazy overboard here and say that doing something like that deserves the death penalty. But I think a life sentence without parole seems more than fair.